Women’s Health: Penis Implants Officially Exist—and They’re Damn Big
It’s not a banana in his pocket.
Props to Beverly Hills urologist James Elist, M.D., for giving any man with cash to spare the big dick they always longed for. Yes, indeedy, penis implants are here.
The good doc is offering three sizes of his implant, which he’s dubbed “the Penuma”: large, extra-large, and extra-extra large. “Nobody wants a small,” Elist tells GQ. “So we don’t have a small, we don’t have a medium. We start from large.” Makes sense, as that’s the entire point of the implant.
Basically, men with a cool $13k burning a whole in their pocket can get jacked up below the belt, and start having boners that are nearly double their original size. According to GQ, Elist has performed about 1,300 implants for men from all over the country, as well as other countries, and the procedure has had a 95 percent success rate.
Here’s how it works: The skin around the penis is cut and rolled back, and a clear, silicone implant is wrapped around the inner penis. The skin is rolled back into place, the patient is stitched up, and voila! He has a bigger Johnson in 45 minutes or less. (BTW, it can also get bigger over time thanks to gravity.)
While penis implant patients can’t have sex for four months after surgery, the implant is permanent and pretty much undetectable—and men who have had it done say it has been a life-changer.
Accountants, mechanics, students, and other types of average dudes have super-sized their packages with Elist’s help. One guy, a plumber from Northern California, was worried that he wasn’t pleasing his wife, so he got an XL implant last July, even though his wife says she never had a problem with his old peen. Now, they do it four to five times a week.
“He’s been a sexual maniac,” his wife tells GQ. “He has erections all day long, every day now. We haven’t had this much sex since when we first got together.” (Worth noting: The wife didn’t say if it was better sex.)
One college student who had a three-inch erect penis pre-surgery says his Penuma changed everything: “Now I’m focused. All problems have diminished. Like, I’m happy now.”
While we don’t think men should feel pressure to go under the knife, if a penis implant is what it takes for them to feel whole, then by all means…